Alone in the Wild

Yesterday I watched "Into the Wild", and it left a lasting impression on me. There was one line in the movie that really shook me up. Alex was sitting in his bus in wild Alaska reading Tolstoy, and with tears streaming down his face he wrote "Happiness is not real unless shared" into his book. He was lonely and scared, the happiness he felt early on from the adventure of it all had worn off and left his heart wanting human connection.

The impact of that statement resonated through my soul; happiness is not real unless shared. Maybe that is why I have been feeling so lonely these past few weeks, months. I need you to share in my happiness. I need my best friend, the one who understands my every thought who knows all the wrinkles and curves of my heart with his eyes closed. I need to be able to look you in the eye, hold your hand, feel your arms around me. I need to cry with you, laugh and smile with you. Laughing alone is not the same. Granted there are people around me who are polite listeners, but it is not the same.

It is one thing to explore the world and to rejoice in the beauty of our planet. It is good to work towards your goals, and strive to be the best version of yourself that you can, but without the support and presence of love in your life it is difficult to reach the depths of happiness that are possible. I am longing to be enveloped in love, to have that abundance of physical love that my body is begging for.