24 September - 11:15
Today I feel out of it. I can’t even focus on journaling. I am watching BBC news right now, which feels like a giant relief… to be reaching outside of this little bubble that is our world at yoga school. It is so nice to get a breath of outside news, a little handful of the real world… which at this time is not good with a 700 billion dollar plan to bail out Wall Street. These problems seem so far away…
I wonder why some days I feel so disconnected from what is happening here. I mean what is better than focusing on your inner journey to find your own voice- your own supreme soul, right? What can be tiring of this process? Is it the yoga classes, the theory, the same faces, the same meals, the same small environment? We are really spoiled here- every meal provided, all cleaning provided… Yet, I feel exhausted. I feel like I could sleep for decades although every night Lynn and I sleep for at least 9 hours.
We have 4 and a half more weeks here. I need to start to look inside and explore why I am feeling uncomfortable… what can make me more happy and tranquil? Do I need my running time; do I need my music back? Do I need to keep up with news and emails better? Do I need to balance the yoga with the other aspects of my life?
We really live in a beautiful world here, but sometimes I miss the city life. My heart aches for lively streets, colorful markets, music and art. I miss running and walking through the neighborhoods and streets. I miss the coffee culture where you can walk into any café and feel an academic atmosphere – the open opportunity to sit and think, journal, reflect, learn, grow. I miss family- warm conversations over dinner, or a glass of wine. I miss glowing fireplaces, and comfortable loved ones relaxing all together. I am really looking forward to returning home. What brings all these emotions back to me? Have I really been gone too long, is it the cleanse, the body detoxification? Is it the environment here, the cool crisp autumn feel in the air?
No comments:
Post a Comment