Work has taken a 180 degree turn for me, and I am sitting here wondering how it happened?
What changes in us to make things okay?
There really hasn't been too much physical change, yes there was a certain individual who left for a while which has definitely lightened my mental load (weighed down my work load). Yet, more has changed. I now look forward to going to work, yearn to get deeper into my patients lives, into their health.
Something changed.
And I think it was me.
It hit me... the law of attraction flew into my head one day as I was plotting my escape from this tormenting hell I had created. If I was continually focusing on the bad, only bad was to come. Only more bad was in store for me. There was so much good all around, so much that I LOVED, and yet I was caught up in all the tough stuff, all the awful things that followed me home. I was caught up in my own development, fear and emotion. I was feeling stagnant, and whenever I feel too still I have a ferocious need for upheaval and change. All the things that make life "predictable" (safe ie boring) terrify me and create a deeply rooted need to RUN. GET OUT! GO! I bee line to the nearest exit, terminal, airport (hopefully).
And yet, this time I am staying.
I fought the yearning to purge my current job, work, apartment, life and flee the country with my partner in crime, and ever supporting love - Lynn. Who equally wanted to flee like a criminal to Borneo, Turkmenistan, Azerbaijan... where ever.
And I sat in it. I studied it. I became more aware of why I was feeling the way I was.
And thus, change happened with one small tweak in attitude.
No comments:
Post a Comment